“Standing By: The Making of an American Military Family in a Time of War” is the true-life story of a woman who never imagined she’d marry a military man.

Local writer Alison Buckholtz met her husband Scott, an active-duty U.S. Navy pilot, in 2001 and began building a life with him.

They married shortly after Sept. 11 and had two children.

“I thought of the armed forces as a foreign culture growing up,” Buckholtz said. “I had a lot of stereotypes that were shattered.”

Buckholtz wrote “Standing By” during her husband’s seven-month deployment on an aircraft carrier in the Persian Gulf.

The book is a powerful account of her life near Whidbey Island Naval Air Station, where her husband is stationed, and her family’s struggle to lead as normal of a life as possible.

Buckholtz said she was encouraged to write the novel in 2007, after “The New York Times” published her heart-warming essay about her children dealing with their father’s overseas absence.

Literary agents liked that she was a military outsider turned insider, who could translate her life to nonmilitary readers.

“This is not representative of all military families. They’re each incredibly diverse, but some aspects of this life are universal.”

Buckholtz describes the initial culture shock she experienced transitioning to the role of military wife. Because she was raised to face life on her own terms, rather than be a more traditional wife supporting her husband’s career, it was a foreign world. But Buckholtz admits she was surprised every step of the way.

“I wrote this for the person I used to be,” she said.

It once was thought that military spouses were seen and not heard. They appeared stoic, just as their husbands did, Buckholtz said.

“My way of being loyal is questioning out loud. It makes me a more loyal American, more educated about the military and more committed.”

Although people may read the headlines or watch the news about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, few get to see behind the curtain of a military family during war time.

Buckholtz’s book features intriguing stories of military spouses she befriended, many of which deal with long, repeated deployments. The characters’ names were changed.

“They didn’t befriend me knowing I was writing a book. This evolved over the course of my time here,” Buckholtz said.

Living most of her life in a big city, Buckholtz profiled her move to Anacortes and how she eased into the town’s “live-it-up” mentality. She faced several jarring hardships during her husband’s deployment, including a call from her son’s pediatrician. She said her three-year-old could be suffering from post traumatic stress disorder from Scott’s absence.

However, Buckholtz was not alone in her struggle. She described how her friendships in the community helped her endure during challenging times.

Buckholtz made one of her final appearances as a local author at a book signing last week at Oak Harbor Wind and Tide Bookshop. In a few weeks, her family is moving to Washington D.C. to stay with relatives, while her husband leaves for a 12 month deployment in Baghdad.

It will be nearly twice as long as the deployment she wrote about in “Standing By.”

“I was lucky to live out here,” Buckholtz said, of her time in the Northwest. “I thought about the lessons of past deployments, which had its ups and downs. I had to think hard about what I learned and find peace.”