By DARREL BERG

Would you believe that I recently received a letter from the United States Army, inviting me to apply for a commission as a chaplain? As W. H. Auden wrote, “Unless you exclaim, ‘there must be some mistake!’ You are bound to be mistaken!”

There must have been some mistake! Did the Army know I was 85 years of age? The Army had their chance back in l943. I was a recently ordained minister aged 23, and we were in the middle of World War II. I applied for the chaplaincy but was rejected because I did not have adequate education. I had a diploma from a three year Bible College, which was enough to get me ordained and deferred, but at that time only ministers with four years of college plus three years of seminary were accepted. Two years later I applied again and by that time chaplains were so badly needed that I qualified.. I was on my way in when we dropped the A bombs on Japan and the war was over. (I have a veteran friend who thinks it was just characteristic Army speed in responding to my l945 application.)

Some people say they have no regrets. I am not one of them. I do regret that I was not with my contemporaries at the moment of maximum need. But like Minnie Minoso shouting back over his shoulder to the third base coach Luke Appling, as he (Minnie) dug for home, “Too late, too late, I gone!”

It is too late, too late now, unless the Army wants to relax another requirement and enlist me at the age of 85. On the other hand, maybe they should take me. Maybe we should have an army of 85 year olds. From time immemorial the old have sent the young. Now maybe it is time for a turnaround. Let the young men and women send the old men to war. Most of my life has been lived. As the saying goes, “It’s a once in a lifetime experience and you’ve had your once.”

Let us old men go to Iraq and Afghanistan. We have raised our families. We have made our fortunes. We have seen the world. Some of us are widowers. We have won and lost our battles. We are the ones who should be risking our lives. We have less to lose. It has been a pretty good run. As T. S. Eliot puts it,

“Old men ought to be explorers, (risk takers)

Here and there do not matter.”

On second thought I think I will accept the invitation of the Army, only I will request to be assigned to the infantry as a private foot soldier. That’s what my dad was in World War I. Let some young man or woman who has a spouse or sweetheart stay home. Wilfred Owen, the poet laureate of World War I, wrote a poem about Abraham sacrificing Isaac, only in this case, the old man didn’t listen to the angel who told him to lay not his hand upon the lad, but instead to offer the Ram of Pride. Then the poem concludes:

“….The old man would not do so, but slew his son,

And half the seed of Europe one by one.”

Wilfred Owen was killed in France one week before the Armistice of l9l8. My Christmas wish this year is that we old men will be allowed to enlist so that the young men and women can stay home. Let the recruiters haunt the senior centers instead of the high schools and colleges. Let our sons and daughters and grandchildren stay home and have a Merry Christmas!

Coupeville resident Rev. Darrel Berg is pastor of the Guemes Island Community Church.