Carolyn McKinley lost her husband of more than 50 years.

He was a veteran, a former Navy sailor. While they were relatively well-prepared for the end of life, the experience left her with a greater understanding of the emotional and practical realities of death.

“I’d always been a positive person,” she said. “When my husband died, I lost everything: my best friend, my lover, my partner. I lost half of my life. I was laying next to him when he passed away. I could feel my heart pull out and go with him.”

Now she volunteers at Tahoma National Cemetery in Kent, the only national cemetery in this state. She also shares what she’s learned about preparing for the end with other veterans and their families. She was recently on Whidbey Island with the cemetery’s director for seminars on end-of-life preparation. The talks were organized by the Whidbey Veterans Resource Center.

Her husband, Emmett, died in 2008. The process wasn’t easy and she’s still learning new things about navigating the Department of Veterans Affairs. She suggested veterans and their families should have on hand some place accessible:

Discharge papers, also called the DD-214, the certificate of release or discharge from active duty

Birth Certificates

Marriage and divorce decrees — including foreign

Other military records

It’s key to store this paperwork in one safe place such as a safety deposit box and let key family members know where to find it. She also said it’s crucial to keep the originals and make copies.

If you plan a trip, she suggested taking the VA book with or making a list of VA clinics and hospitals if something unexpected happens while traveling.

She also offered this bit of wisdom: When you lose someone you love, it’s a celebration of life.

“There are so many things you remember that are positive,” she said. “You don’t remember any of the negatives. That will help make the situation better.”