Editor,

Everyone knows that touting your own self-righteousness is the best way to make friends and influence people. I loved the recent letter to the editor on vegetarianism. Everyone loves a lecture full of smugness and declared morale superiority.

Based on this letter, we have converted to eating only vegetables forever. I used to eat cats; no more, I tell you. I used to buy food from a store. Now I use my own “matter” to force daddy grown vegetables down the throats of the young, who I will 100% raise to hate gas stoves, fighter jets and any form of meat, since eating meat is the same moral position as being Jack the Ripper.

We love you, author of “Vegetarianism is Best.” I’m submitting it to “South Park.” They, no doubt, will make a very serious movie about the author. Or maybe…

John Stevens

Coupeville