“Sometimes I think my life would make a great TV movie. It even has the part where they say, ‘Stand by. We are experiencing temporary difficulties.’”

–Robert Brault

This week I watched what I consider to be one of the most ridiculous commercials I have ever seen. A mature couple, married a number of years and experiencing emotional stagnation, finally enjoys a renewed sense of excitement after they change their brand of toilet paper.

You’ve got to be kidding me.

If this commercial was intended as a nonsensical look at a product we all reach for, it seemed ever more absurd when the next segment focused on the incredibly beautiful images of astronaut Captain Mark Kelly, sitting quietly beside an intensive care hospital bed, holding the hand of his critically injured wife, Rep. Gabrielle Giffords of Arizona. Inside her wedding band is engraved, “You’re the closest to heaven I’ve ever been.” This week, as “Gabbie” Giffords continues to improve in near miraculous ways, Kelly hopes they will be able to read the words together someday and experience that heaven once again, here on earth.

Nothing is as simple as a change in toilet paper.

Wednesday evening I walked Crescent Harbor beach with my husband to take in the dramatic sunset and thought not only about the tragedy in Arizona but also about my college friend and his wife, recently forced to bury their beloved son after a tragic accident cut short his young life. I thought about personal conversations I’ve shared with friends facing broken relationships where once there was intimacy and trust and future plans.

I wrestled with circumstances I know about that leave me deeply saddened. What about my sister-in-law, I asked God, whose mom lived bravely through enormous losses during her life, and now dies slowly due to the effects of Alzheimer’s disease? What about the horror being experienced by the parents of the mentally ill gunman in Arizona?

The issue of intense suffering is perhaps the one issue we believers hate most of all. We don’t like to admit such vulnerability. We don’t like the conversations that start out, “If God were as loving as you say He is, why all this?” The truth is, there is no fairness or logic in more situations than we care to acknowledge. And yet, there are valuable lessons housed in these occasions. Ultimately, these lessons bond us to each other and to Him.

God can take your horror, anger and frustration. He will send scores of soothers, but you must look. They come in the form of sudden, unaccounted for improvements, gifts from devoted family and friends, cleansing tears, meals, letters, hugs, and strength from others. They are experienced in a growing appreciation for things you may have taken for granted but now fully notice and treasure. Best of all, soothers are frequently people who choose to hold your hand, bear witness to your suffering, and dignify you by being quiet and compassionate.

Ralf Waldo Emerson once said that only when it is dark enough can you see the stars. Let’s turn our faces to the heavens this week and look.

Joan Bay Klope can be reached at faithfulliving@hotmail.