I grew up in a community with a stable population. It was not uncommon for a family to move into a neighborhood and remain at least two decades to raise their children. Therefore, many of my classmates who pounded handmade musical instruments in Mrs. Barker’s kindergarten music program also walked across the stage at my high school graduation. Such history gave us kids the unique opportunity to study each other over the years. Such history offers us life lessons today.
John lived on upper end of my neighborhood and was adopted as an infant by a couple about as decent and good as parents can be. He was a small, quirky little kid. His left ear was malformed and there was a nasal tone to his voice, but John was smart and well provided for. In due time we all took note of his blossoming talent on the piano and when he struggled to socialize with the rest of us he took to playing the piano for us, instead. It was his strategy and certainly a workable one at that.
John’s parents, like mine, hauled their two children to the local church, built just blocks from our neighborhood. He attended Sunday school and vacation Bible schools with me, as I recall. And every single time his dad stepped foot into the classroom to pick John up following the Sunday lesson, he would call out to the teacher, “Was Johnny a good boy for you today?” The truth was Johnny was high maintenance and a little bit of an irritation. He wanted so badly to fit in but struggled to easily socialize. But good? John was that. He was a good kid with parents we considered to be a bit plain and rather square, but exceedingly and undisputedly good. After all, they had chosen John as their baby to love and to nurture throughout his childhood.
Author George Eliot, who was really English novelist Mary Ann Evans Cross (but understood that she would need to cover herself in a cloak of maleness to be taken seriously), commented on goodness 150 years ago in her play, “Scenes of a Clerical Life.” At one point in the play the main character proclaims, “The first condition of human goodness is something to love; the second is something to reverence.” When I think of such a combination I think of John’s parents. They loved their Johnny and they revered God. Their ultimate goodness was the fruit, produced by their choice to love their adopted son as their own. No doubt their patience was tested, time and again by their Johnny. No doubt their choice to keep their eyes focused on God produced that goodness that became so evident to us kids.
I remember that being good or displaying goodness was not a top priority we kids talked about. Being popular was highly prized. So was being funny. But there was little doubt that the parents in our neighborhood embraced the expectation that we be good. They parented other kids and touched base with parents if there were problems. There was also common knowledge of what goodness looked like. That was because my formative years took place as war and youthful protest swirled around me. The long haired, pot-smoking new generation did not look or smell good. If we kept our skirts at an appropriate length and dealt politely with the adults in our lives, we were deemed good kids.
Being good is equally difficult today. I am learning this lesson as I watch my own children wade through their formative years and maneuver among their peers. Adults and children alike frequently resent goodness in others. They publicly belittle it and privately resent it. And if you struggle at all with the notion that human beings are fallen by nature, factor in goodness and watch how difficult it is to surround yourself with goodness and remain untargeted.
This week, give the concept of goodness some life by acting as a loyal friend. Show respect when there is a difference in opinion. Be a good sport. Tell the truth, no matter the circumstances. Then gear up for some discouragement, for goodness is never completely achieved. And while it is easy to fall off course, you can hop back on the path to goodness by walking hand in hand with God. Talk with Him daily. Seek His wisdom. Send time with people who know God on a personal level. Long for His presence and influence to guide and protect your understanding of goodness. To do so will introduce reverence and produce great amounts of goodess into your life.
Joan Bay Klope is a freelance writer and former editor of Christian books. Contact her at jbklope@hotmail.com