I listened to my sister-in-law with great interest this week. This modern, nearly 40-year-old woman who successfully manages a career in sales atop a mountain thanks to the Internet, parents two busy kids and enjoys the life one lives while married to the director of an outdoor educational camp is one of the most interesting women in my life. As I listen to her assessments of life in the Motherlode country of California I smile at those things that make her uniquely Amy.
And with each conversation I stare time in the face.
I met Amy when I was myself barely a teen and she a fourth grader. My first memory is seeing her in the backyard playing with her family’s fluffy black and white dog named Muff. She had long, brown hair, slender legs I have always envied, and a wicked sense of humor that helped her maneuver in a family that included four older brothers.
How can this be, I have asked myself this week, that my own son is now the age Amy was when we first met?
That time marches on is nothing new. What I cannot help but wonder is how well I am managing the time I am given each day. It leads to a worthy set of questions we can ask ourselves. Are we spending our time wisely? Are we always saying we will get to things but never do? Do we write off as impossible things that can be done if we will eliminate the fanfare and dig in, instead?
According to a recent university study, the average American couple spends no more than five minutes each day talking about something of substance. Children and fathers less than 15 minutes each day. These conversations include exchanging ideas that will promote clearer understanding, cohesiveness, and love — as opposed to directions, requests and instruction.
If we are using our hearts for less than 20 minutes each day to communicate with those we see on a regular basis, I wonder where extended family members fit into this impressive system of communication? Friends? And what about God?
If you are anything like me, I am not always readily receptive to adding another activity — much less a new set of expectations — to an already hectic schedule. At moments I feel overwhelmed by my self-imposed list of shoulds. But lately I have been wondering how much time I waste contemplating and planning and making lists. When a good idea comes to mind, what about just doing it?
Reminds me of a Nike ad.
I call it the five-minute nugget and it is bringing a new sense of accomplishment and anticipation to my day when I have a lot scheduled and I need something to mentally and emotionally refresh me.
It goes like this: make the best of five whole minutes and see what happens. Adjust your thinking around the idea that something done quickly and intensely is satisfying to you and meaningful to the person involved. It will not alter your schedule for the day. It will not take much planning. More often than not, it will cost very little but will emotionally feed you in surprising ways.
Need to touch base with someone special? Write a postcard. Stick a note in a lunch bag. Leave an encouraging message on voice mail. Share your wife’s cookies with co-workers. Stop and talk in the aisle of the grocery store. Lend a hand with the dishes. Smile and wave. Send an e-mail card. Tape an encouraging note to the bathroom mirror.
Need to get in touch with God? Carry a small devotional and read a passage while you wait for your child’s practice to end. Pray for someone or something you are concerned about. Keep a modest prayer journal and look back on occasion to see what God has done with your concerns.
Go on and offer to carpool so you can hear what went on during your child’s day at school — right there in the car may be the only time you will hear it. And take a moment to meet a friend for a latte. Those are times meant for soothing and encouraging.
“Killing time takes practice,” author Karen Gordon has written. I am left to wonder, how much time I have killed by belittling those wonderful five-minute opportunities? Faithful living means choosing to be mentally and emotionally available to ourselves, God, and those delightful sisters-in-law with lives so different than our own.
May we all choose a countenance of availability and go about living boldly, five small minutes at a time, this next week.
