Of the many things my parents did right when raising my brother and me, one of the “rightest” was the open-door policy of our home. My friends were always welcome. When boys entered my world Mom and Dad were good at giving us some space, but we had to occupy space in a public area. Bedrooms and closed doors were off limits and it is a model I have incorporated as my husband and I raise our teenagers, even when those rules are not established with kids who walk through our door. I have learned that sometimes I must parent, to a certain extent, kids who are not my own — requiring that I be consistent and prepared to define boundaries I feel are not only best for them and but ones I can live with — regardless of the reaction.

Good parenting, I always say, is not for the faint of heart. You must let go of the notion that you will be your child’s buddy. You are to be his guide, instead, and he may not follow with full understanding for years to come.

During my childhood my family experienced a full range of emotions and reactions as our lives unfolded, but I could always count on the consistent attitude that I was valued. I like to glean the best of my childhood and apply it to the home my husband and I have created for our three children and respect is highest on the list. So are some of the Christmas traditions of the past. They are so treasured they have become our traditions as well.

As any Klope kid will testify, you cannot run downstairs to check out the Christmas tree on the 25th until all of the adults are up, have made coffee, turned on the gas stove, and grabbed a spot on the couch where photographs can be easily taken. It will be the same this Christmas as it has been for all others: The blueberry/Mandarin orange coffee cake with the crumble topping will come out of the oven for everyone to enjoy while we open gifts. And it will be Dad who hands out the gifts — to be opened one at a time so the joy of each present can be enjoyed by everyone.

The only difference between this Christmas and those of the past is the person waking everybody up. Years ago it was the kids; today it is me, who must wait agonizing minutes as the girls beautify so they will look good for the pictures.

One thing that will not change is the great care I will take to be certain the Kid Magnets are carefully in place throughout the house this Christmas. These are the things that make family life fun, eventful and kid-filled — no matter the age of the children. They are designed to bring out the best in us, teaching love, responsibility, patience and commitment.

The Kid Magnets at our home are musical instruments, games and puzzles, snacks and pets. My heart soars when I watch the invisible magnetism draw kids without fail into playful, fun, interactions with each other and the adults around them.

Kid Magnets aid in the making of a home. They seduce kids onto couches to stroke a kitty or nap under a blanket with a warm, snuggly puppy. They move kids to tables to play games, eat snacks and talk about old times. Kid Magnets provide the freedom for kids to laugh at themselves when funny sounds come out of an instrument or adults to hum along with Christmas carols.

Even now when our kids and their friends are teens and young adults, the manger scene will still act as a Kid Magnet when the figures are lifted out of the Christmas box, carefully unwrapped, and the perfect location chosen for a proper display. Perhaps it is the newness of seeing it only once a year or our innate fascination with birth. Whatever the case, the key players in the Christmas drama — Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, the shepherd, the wise men, the angel and the animals — will be arranged and rearranged this Christmas to the satisfaction of the each person as he or she walks by. Years ago I would peek around the corner to hear Mary talk with her newborn or the shepherd boy tell the lambs not to get too close to the baby. Today my kids simply stop, sometimes to rearrange the scene, sometimes to think quietly to themselves.

For Christians across the globe it is the advent season. We light candles, read devotions, decorate our homes and churches, purchase gifts and attend church activities — all in anticipation of Christmas Day when we remember that God chose to enter our world as a newborn. As the magnetism of the manger scene draws even me, I will quietly repeat an annual prayer — straight from the heart:

Draw me to the manger, Lord,

for I, too, am your child.

Show me how to apply the significance

of your humble birth to the day-to-day

challenges I face. Deepen my faith, giving me courage, magnetism, and light for my path.

Amen.

Freelance writer Joan Bay Klope’s e-mail address is jbklope@hotmail.com.