The following items were selected from reports made to the Island County Sheriff’s Office and the Oak Harbor Police Department:
Friday, Jan. 3
At 12:31 a.m., a San Juan Avenue resident reported that a woman moved into his home without his knowledge or permission. He said his unwanted roommate now wouldn’t let him in the residence.
Sunday, Jan. 5
At 8:55 p.m., a caller on Riepma Avenue said he was watching “a disc in the sky spinning and changing colors.” The man said “it looks like it’s about a thousand miles away” and that the sheriff’s office was welcome to look through his telescope. The dispatcher noted that the man was screaming and was very excited.
Friday, Feb. 14
At 7:21 p.m., a Kodiak Avenue resident reported that someone stuffed a dead chicken in the mailbox.
Saturday, Feb. 15
At 9:15 p.m., a Northeast Seventh Avenue resident reported she was being stalked via radioactive waves that bounce off her television and phone. Her stomach made noise when the refrigerator clicks on.
Thursday, Feb. 20
At 9:46 a.m., a resident of Dead Goat Road reported that a man showed up at the door with a machete. The man claimed that his son was in danger and that time travelers may take him.
Friday, March 7
At 11:14 a.m., a Devries Road resident reported receiving a suspicious email from someone claiming to have been robbed at gunpoint in the Philippines. The message was not grammatically correct.
At 1:44 p.m., a caller reported a suspicious compound on Bonnie Lane. The residence is home to “exotic wild animals” and has some sort of underground system. The caller said there will be children in the yard and they will suddenly disappear.
Monday, March 10
At 1:01 a.m., a Wintergreen Drive resident reported that his son was being a “smart mouth” then went outside and started howling like a coyote.
Wednesday, March 12
At 1:43 p.m., a caller at a real estate business reported that a man came into the building and said he’s a prophet on Camano Island and God told him no “A boards” are allowed.
Monday, March 19
At 1:58 p.m., a Northwest Crosby Avenue resident called 911 repeatedly to complain that she was in the Whidbey News-Times police blotter for calling 911 repeatedly. She also said she got a call from Christ and that someone had been taking pages from her phone book.
Saturday, March 22
At 12:16 p.m., a Scenic Avenue resident reported that her cat returned home with a shaved stomach and appears to have undergone some sort of surgery.
At 12:51 p.m., a caller reported that he’s trying to contact ex-president Jimmy Carter. He believes Carter used to live in the Coupeville area and he needs to get an emergency message to him. The caller said he’s “almost a relative.”
Saturday, April 5
At 6:52 a.m., a Harold Street resident reported that there was a squirrel in his back yard walking in circles. The man said he was afraid to go and help the critter because someone would videotape him and post it on Youtube.
Thursday, April 17
At 3:16 p.m., a Puget Sound Lane resident reported receiving a tray of tainted cookies from the neighbors during the holidays. The caller was sick for days after eating them.
Sunday, April 20
At 6:03 p.m., a Puget Sound Lane resident reported that kids were “stalking” her on Facebook. She also complained that no deputies contacted her about the poison cookies.
Tuesday, April 22
At 1:36 p.m., a Wilson Road resident reported that her house and counters have been “cyanided.”
Sunday, April 27
At 2:02 p.m., a caller who said he’s “the most powerful man in the world” said everyone needs to quit demonizing the LA Clippers.
Monday, April 28
At 6:50 p.m., a man claiming to be the king of Monaco reported that he had a message about a serial killer out of Australia.
Saturday, May 3
At 4:45 p.m., a man on Pioneer Way reported that he was a general and the king of Monaco. He said he was sent to a downtown bar to find out who the “rats” are. He said the bartenders are horrible and have refused him service and he is OK with that.
Wednesday, May 14
At 2:22 a.m., a West Beach Road resident reported that her caregiver is really “a male in a wet suit.”
Thursday, May 29
At 10:17 a.m., there was a third-hand report that a man claimed that local law enforcement was involved in thefts, the killing of cats and words written in blood on walls.
Tuesday, June 24
At 5 a.m. a West Beach Road resident called to say she didn’t want anything to do with the person of interest that was seen on television the day before.
Thursday, June 26
At 10:57 a.m. a Hodges Avenue resident reported that a crash occurred with guns and shooting happening somewhere in New York. The caller said 15 minutes previously he had a premonition and heard “some kid is going to die” from the TV.
Tuesday, July 15
At 11:16 p.m., a Northeast Harvest Drive resident reported that a person who had been going door to door and refused to leave for a while came back and threw a milkshake at the house.
Tuesday, July 22
At 9:20 p.m., a homeless man on Erie Street asked how to get into the Witness Protection Program.
Saturday, July 26
At 8:23 a.m., a Grateful Acre Place resident reported his concerns about a neighbor who believes that the Dutch Mafia and the county prosecutor work for him.
Sunday, July 27
At 9:13 p.m., a Harns Road resident reported that a suspicious, shirtless man drove up his driveway and took off when he saw him. The resident followed the man and spoke with him. The man said that someone was transmitting on antennas into his TV and messing with his head.
Monday, Aug. 18
At 6 p.m., State Highway 20 residents reported that a redheaded man was sitting on their porch, eating food and sipping coffee. The man refused to leave.
Monday, Aug. 18
At 12:19 p.m., a Big Harvs Lane resident wanted to know how to get her 22-year-old son to move out.
Saturday, Sept. 6
At 2:49 p.m., a caller reported that a shirtless man on Monkey Hill Road was holding a sign to passing Tour de Whidbey bicyclists that read, “Show me your boobs.” A deputy investigated and found the sign in the man’s yard but didn’t see evidence of a crime. There was no indication of whether any bicyclists took him up on the offer.
Saturday, Sept. 20
At 4:04 p.m., a Southwest Kimball Drive resident reported that she had a “certificate of authenticity” from a mental hospital.
Tuesday, Sept. 30
At 12 p.m., a caller reported that a Meridian Street resident was barbecuing in his backyard without clothes on.
Friday, Oct. 31
At 3:43 p.m., a caller at a State Highway 20 business reported that a short, red-headed woman was “ranting and yelling” about the devil.
Thursday, Nov. 6
At 8:34 p.m., a woman reported that she was being chased by her daughter on Southwest Mulligan. The woman said her daughter wants her pain medication.
Friday, Nov. 7
At 7:43 p.m., a Northeast Seventh Avenue resident reported being harassed electronically. The caller said she covered all the red beans in the apartment, which seemed to “solve some problems.”
Monday, Nov. 24
At 6:59 p.m., a caller reported that community picnic tables at Rolling Hills were vandalized. Someone spread dog feces all over them.
Tuesday, Nov. 25
At 6:13 a.m., a Nubian Way resident reported that people were shooting him with gamma rays and shocking his testicles.
Thursday, Nov. 27
At 4:15 a.m., a caller at Whidbey General Hospital reported that a suspicious short women was acting strange. She kept going in and out of the hospital and talking in “roundabout sentences.”
Sunday, Nov. 30
At 4:44 p.m., a caller reported that “the chief of police needs to resign immediately.” The man called several more times to ask about the chief, report a security breach and to tell the dispatcher not to wake him up.
Monday, Dec. 1
At 7:51 p.m., a caller reported that a woman trying to put gas into her car at a State Highway 20 business was yelling at her “invisible friends.”
