Mustache Battle: Oak Harbor police, firefighters face off in friendly competition

Oak Harbor firefighters and police officers battled Friday night to see who could grow the most manly of male adornments — the mustache.

By Debra Vaughn • November 3, 2015 6:51 pm

Oak Harbor firefighters and police officers battled Friday night to see who could grow the most manly of male adornments — the mustache.

The men had one month to turn bare skin and testosterone into luxurious lip warmers.

This year, firefighter Paul Schroer took top honors for “Best Mustache” with a simple, smooth dark caterpillar.

For those who are more follically challenged, there were categories aptly named “Other” and “Worst.”

Fire Department Capt. Craig Anderson described the “Worst” category as best for men with “three hairs fighting over their left nostril.”

Firefighter Dylan Dahl’s wistful wisps crushed that category.

Women aren’t excluded from competition. Firefighters Genevieve Cox and Lolly Titherington sported some of the fullest and most fabulous ’staches of the evening. But their secret involved adhesive.

Firefighter Dustin Amundson couldn’t be beaten in the “Other” category. His facial preparation and wardrobe closely resembled the title character of the television show “My Name is Earl.”

Capt. Anderson’s own facial growth was versatile enough to enter the “Worst” or “Other” categories. The world’s teensiest weed whacker may have attacked the thin bristled bar across his upper lip.

As emcee for the evening, he didn’t compete.

“I was trying to do something but didn’t quite pull it off,” he said.

For some, facial hair wasn’t enough.

The Wolverine and The Donald made an appearance. So did World Wrestling Federation star the Iron Sheik, complete with disturbingly tight red briefs.

The Iron Sheik, AKA firefighter Jim Anema, won the “Lifer” category. This is the category for men who sprouted a mustache sometime around 1983 and would be unrecognizable to friends and loved ones if bare lipped.

Although this was billed as a knockdown, drag-out battle between firefighters and police, the attendance of Oak Harbor’s finest was as patchy as a 14-year-old’s first shave.

Police officer Jon Valenzuela, who served as a judge, did do his department proud with a thick, horseshoe mustache straight out of a Dodge City.

The event raised money for The EOD Warrior Foundation, a nonprofit that provides financial assistance and support to active duty personnel and veterans wounded or killed during explosive ordnance disposal and their families.

The Oak Harbor Fire Department had a close working relationship with the EOD department that used to be at Naval Air Station Whidbey Island, said fire chief Ray Merrill.

More than $700 was raised.