Officials in Central Whidbey aren’t exactly on the same page when it comes to preparing for a zombie apocalypse.

Mayor Nancy Conard, for example, takes the approach of the head-in-the-sand mayor from “Jaws.”

“There are no zombies in Coupeville,” she said.

Which leaves residents at high risk from the walking and brain-munching dead.

Trulia, the online real estate site, recently ranked cities by their zombie survivability. While Coupeville didn’t make the list, it’s clear from the criteria that it’s not a safe place to sit out the slow-motion Armageddon.

Trulia reports that Honolulu is the worst place to be in the nation when the zombies attack, partly because it’s on an island. Which doesn’t bode well for the smallest town on Whidbey Island either.

In addition, Coupeville is a “walkable” town, which means walkers can get around easily. There’s a hospital, which provides easy prey for zombies. And there’s no hardware store, which means its hard for people to find items to protect themselves.

Don’t expect much help from local law enforcement, even though both the Coupeville Marshal’s Office and the Island County Sheriff’s Office are located in town.

Marshal Norrie has only two words of advice: “Run scared.”

Sheriff Mark Brown is a classic buck-passer when it comes to zombies. He said Island County Coroner Robert Bishop has jurisdiction over the dead.

“If they start acting up, it’s Bishop’s problem,” Brown said.

Island County Public Health Director Keith Higman offers guidance from a public health perspective.

“Stay away from zombies because they are likely to be contagious,” he said. “Don’t let them touch you or bite you. Drink plenty of water, get plenty of sleep and remember to wash your hands.”

“At least you’ll die with clean hands,” he added.

Higman said there’s currently no immunization available to prevent the dead from awakening.

Perhaps the best bet for Coupeville residents is to head to the gun batteries at nearby Fort Casey State Park.

Jon Crimmins, area manager for the parks, said the partially underground structure may be creepy, but the thick concrete walls are perfect for keeping zombies at bay. He pointed out that it was used as a nuclear fall-out shelter during the civil defense era.

There’s even rations left.

“We’ll be fine,” he said. “We have all the old Saltines we can handle.”